Moonfrye Family is honored and thrilled to welcome today's guest blogger, Jenni Chiu from Mommy Nani BooBoo! Jenni is a humorist, essayist and freelance writer with a background in theater and an incredible talent for making moms everywhere laugh out loud even when the going gets rough. She's also a BlogHer '11 Voice of the Year. We're especially grateful for her guest post this week because she just welcomed a brand-new baby boy to her family. Congratulations, Jenni!

Life is like a birth plan.

Before giving birth to my first son, I had a detailed birth plan.  I knew I wanted it to be as natural as possible with little or no medical interventions.  I knew the positions I wanted to labor in.  I had written down what I needed from the labor and delivery staff – no formula, no false nipples, skin to skin right away.  I gave copies of this plan to my doctor, and my nurse when I was admitted. I had music, oils, and breathing techniques.  I would make sure it was as relaxing and peaceful as possible.  Birthing was unchartered territory for me, and I needed and expected it to go a certain way.

Well, my detailed plan soon became more of a “guideline” as I went past my due date and we induced.  Then it became like an outline of sorts.  As I labored for hours and hours, the birth plan seemed to be like something someone else had written, with a few good points thrown in here and there.

We induced.  After seven hours I had an epidural.  My labor stalled.  We stopped the epidural.  I split my pubic bone.  I screamed over my relaxing music.  My son was jaundiced and his system was flushed out with formula.  I couldn’t walk for weeks.  I felt confused and disappointed as to why the universe didn’t read and follow my plan.

Being a parent has continued to be like that.  I’ve planned how sleeping, weaning, and potty training were going to go.  Some things worked and some things didn’t.  I’ve breathed through a lot of it, and I’ve also screamed into my pillow.  The river rapids of life have overturned my boat on many occasions.  With a now three year old, the word “plan” has become some sort of mythical term that is left to my wild imagination.

Now, with my second son due to be born any second, I still have a plan.  My plan exists in my head and not on paper.  My husband knows ideally what I want, and will be my advocate.  But I also know that birthing can be chaos – and because I know that, I feel calm.

I also know that our lives will be rocked by the addition of another baby.  I confess that I am trying to furiously manage it all by making lots and lots of plans for our life ahead.

But now I know that life is like a birth plan.

• Everyone else has an idea of how yours should go, but it’s up to you to make the plan.
• You can include as many people as you’d like, but there is no guarantee they will behave according to your instructions.

• It’s a good idea to know what you want and where you want to go.  Planning makes one feel better, and confident about the unknown. 

 

• A lot of the time, part or the entire plan gets tossed.

And in the end…

Good and bad…

You’re usually left with something more amazing than you ever could’ve planned for.