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Moonfrye Family: Fashion Show by Katie Hurley
“Look! I have a beautiful outfit!” big sister yells as she races into my bedroom.
“Look at me, Mommy! I have fancy clothes!” exclaims baby brother, not to be outdone by his big sister.
I mirror their excitement and compliment their choices. Later, they will compliment mine. At three and five, they already understand that it feels good to hear a compliment.
It has quickly become part of the morning routine, this little fashion show of ours. Sometimes we tape it, sometimes we just twirl around together, and sometimes we surprise daddy with our “fancy” clothes.
Always, we smile and cheer each other on.
While baby brother sticks to cars and cargos, big sister is a bit of a free spirit. When she disappears to get ready for the day, we just never know what means. The perfect outfits carefully chosen by grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even me are usually taken apart only to be paired up with something better. Bold prints make a perfect match and color is everything in the eyes of my daughter.
I get the look from time to time. The raised eyebrows with a small grin. I am often the recipient of, “did she go to school like that?” (said in a whisper). Before I ignite some sort of Mommy Wars fiasco I want to be clear: I’ve never once felt judged when comments are made. In fact, I’ve felt quite the opposite. I’ve felt supported. Looked up to, almost, in some small way. Although they often say that they can’t bring themselves to give their children this powerful choice, they seem to know that my willingness to let go makes my morning a little easier. There will be no power struggles in this house…
They take great pride in these daily choices, these little kids of ours. They feel supported, responsible, and, above all, self-confidant. They know that we trust them with this important task. They know that their opinions matter. They know that they have some control over the day.
We know that big sister needs this independence. We know that flowered dresses with striped leggings and a gold necklace mean a trip to the mall, but yoga pants and a cozy top signify staying close to home. We know just what she needs.
And so we let her choose. We let her express herself without reserve and mix and match to her heart’s delight. And always, we pay her that much appreciated compliment. Always.
Because this look of pride and happiness means the world to us…
Every. Single. Day.
Katie is a Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist/Parenting Expert in Los Angeles, CA. She has a four year old daughter, three year old son, and a rock and roll husband who makes her life complete. Katie has a parenting advice blog, Practical Parenting, and can also be found on Twitter.
Comment
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Comment by Katie Hurley on February 10, 2012 at 7:41am -
Galit- that comment warms my heart. Thank you. xoxo
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Comment by Sarah Scarola on February 10, 2012 at 6:50am -
I am so happy you shared this. It makes me realize that I can be really ridiculous when it comes to insisting that outfits "make sense" or "go together". What does that mean to a six-year old?? I thought I was trying to teach her about coordination and presentability, but in simple terms, I think I have been a jerk about it. From now on, freedom of choice about fashion around here - no more power struggles. I *might* just have to quietly misplace a few of the too short t-shirts and last year's leggings, but other than that, it's gonna be all Little Diva from now on. :)
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Comment by Galit Breen on February 9, 2012 at 9:37pm -
You, my dear friend, are an AMAZING mama. Amazing.
(love this, so much)
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Comment by Elizabeth Flora Ross on February 9, 2012 at 4:17pm -
Letting SB choose her clothes is an easy way to help her feel she has some control and independence. Not to mention teach her the value of expressing herself. I get "the look" from others, too. And, when she went through her tiara and tutu phase, insisting on wearing one, the other or both everywhere she went, I was asked countless times if it was her birthday. Which I found so odd. Does there have to be a reason for a little girl to wear those things?
When she was sick last week, and insisted on wearing her pajamas to the pediatrician's office, I saw no reason to fight it. ;)
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Comment by Katie Hurley on February 9, 2012 at 3:59pm
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The picture above?? Is her "fancy Thanksgiving outfit"! I will send her for a consult...but I can't promise happiness with the results ;)
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Comment by Sherri Kuhn on February 9, 2012 at 3:52pm -
Oh, so adorable! I love hearing her explain the outfit...sounds like a snippet of In Style magazine! She could probably help me a lot with my closet...
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