What Matters
There’s this thing that I have to write. And it’s been the Great Wall of China between me and anything else I could possibly write.
This friend of mine lost her daughter. This friend of mine lost her very young daughter in a way that no mother should ever have to.
And bearing witness to that ripped me apart. But that was nothing compared to what it took for her to make it through.
I was so lucky to have a few friends who held me up, while I held her up. But it didn’t stop the soul-aching buckle of shouldering that with her. I collapsed. She broke. The world split open in the face of her baby being taken from her.
We aren’t meant to outlast the ones who came after us, you know? We’re supposed to be here, and they’re supposed to be there when we’re gone. Torch passing, and whatnot.
For some reason, the sick unfolding of events saw fit that she didn’t get that luxury. And so all I’m left with is this wonder. How and why? There must be a reason. I don’t know what it is.
But I know that I’ve hugged my kids extra hard. I loved my life even more. I appreciated my days and counted my blessings. I decided to stop bitching about things that don’t matter.
Because what matters is I can hug my babies today. I can tell them how hard I love them. And, god willing, I can hug them tomorrow.
Not every mother is so lucky.
*this post brought to you by my experiences following the Newtown tragedy. Hug your kids, and let us not forget so quickly that so many can’t.
Lerner is a heavily tattooed, heavily sarcastic, diehard foodie mother of two. She is a freelance writer and social media consultant and can be found on Facebook and Twitter experimenting with brand new ways to use “crazytown” in a sentence.
5 Responses to “What Matters”
I don’t want to “like” this post, because I hate what you and your friend have been through. But I do love how you have expressed your feelings from this experience. Big hug to you. And now I’ll go give one to my little girl, and be grateful that I can.
Big love
I had to write about it as well. I am deeply sorry that this happened so close to you and your friend. Many bloggers have written about it. I think of it as honoring those dear children.
It is way too easy to forget the gifts our children are to our lives, and when we get angry and frustrated with them, to lash out. I hate to say that I need constant reminders of Newtown, and Columbine, etc. And praise my choice to homeschool my kids when lock down drills was the daily drill, no big deal mom……what??? I ache for what you and your friend have tolive with…as well as many others. What saddens me is this isn’t ending….
You have made my heart bleed, again.